Most of you already know so I felt okay to write about it. I went to the Doctor on Friday for my first OB appt since I found out I was pregnant but the 2 days before I had started feeling discomfort , then cramping, then bleeding so I was a bit concerned. The DR did the ultrasound and I did have a miscarriage. The baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and I was already 10 weeks along. I was not ready for the dreaded news that deep down I knew may come, I didn't think it would happen to me, but who does? I know it's very common, most of my friends have gone through this but needless to say it's still a hard issue to face and deal with , emotionally and more so physically. Because I was seen on a Friday not much could be done as far as a DNC just yet, so my body has already started the process of elimination. I have been cramping pretty hard, mostly last night. If I lay down and remain still I rarely cramp, but if I have to get up and move around it comes on harder and more frequent. Today wasn't as bad. I started taking the rapid release Extra Strength Tylenol which has seemed to help. I plan to go see the DR on Monday to see if in fact I have passed it on my own, if not I'll have the DNC surgery on Wednesday.
As far as emotions, I was very sad , seeing that image on the screen of a baby but with no life to it was very hard, but I have put my faith and trust in God and I know that He has a plan for me and knows what He's doing. I know my body knew something just wasn't right. I really wanted this baby. I don't know when we can try again, with the deployment coming up in January, our time may have run out. I just didn't want Ashlyn and the next baby 3+ years apart but I guess I cant really control that at this point.
Thank you all for your sweet and encouraging words, for your thoughts, and for your prayers. God will not bring me to something that he can not get me through so I will be just fine and this just means back to trying :) That's always fun right? ha
Love you all!
5 comments:
oh kari please know I am thinking of you daily and truly so sorry for your loss. As you know I went through this as well and had the DNC surgery. I am sorry for your sadness and wish you peace. It will all happen when it is supposed to. Love you girl!
Kari- So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine that feeling. Know that you and Luis are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kari, it is great to see your faith through this difficult time and also encouraging to hear your optimism as I know that positive attitude is probably something you have to remind yourself to have at times right now. I am sorry you have experienced such a hard thing. I wish you all the best as you try again :)
We don't know each other, I'm not even sure where you're from, but I found your blog in a very odd way, I was searching for "Elmo do karate" and it came up
I saw this post and I just wanted to say I went through the same thing last October. It's hard, but it gets better. I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Keep your chin up sister, you know what's meant to be will be. God has something bigger in store for you, don't give up.
p.s. it's ok if ashlyn and the next baby are 3+ years apart, I know we had a few hard times growing up but look at us now, we're not only sisters but friends. They will be too :) love you!!
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